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Saturday, January 29, 2011

The Little Things In Life

There are times in life where it hits you just how blessed you really are. There are so many things on a daily basis that I take for granted. Things that I never even think about b/c they are just so natural like breathing, seeing, hearing, tasting,feeling, walking, talking, even the ability to type this right now. I have all my fingers and toes. I have good health. I have a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, food to eat, clothes on my back, shoes on my feet. I have family and friends who love me and support me. I have gadgets to play with and movies to watch. My husband has a secure job and I am trained in 2 different fields so, I will (most likely), always have a job. On top of all of that, I have a beautiful daughter and a loving husband that also have their health, fingers, and toes, and a very sweet and loyal doggy :)
I can admit now, that it took moving out here to China to humble me and realize just how good I have it. I was so selfish, and still am in some ways. I didn't really realize what was important in life. Your loved ones can be taken away from you in a flash. Your health can change from good to bad. You could get into an accident and loose some of your abilities. And you could loose your job in this economy. I don't say these things to scare anyone, but it is reality and we all really need to take a step back and count our many blessings instead of counting the things that are bad in life. If you have a negative attitude all of the time, you will have a negative life and there is nothing "fun" about that. Let the little things slide and deal with the the real challenges that you face one by one head on.
It has been extremely hard for me to be out here and I catch myself feeling sorry for myself and playing the victim. I actually have to remind myself to take a step back and just breathe and say a little prayer in my heart to knock it the hell off. Then I feel so silly. How can I be depressed over such a minor issue? There are people who have no home. That don't have a closet full of clothes and shoes. Who don't have their health or food, that may not have a support system of family and friends, and may be missing a finger or two. Who gave me the right to feel bad for myself when I am beyond blessed in every way?
I might not have a lot of money, but I have enough to buy food, and pay the bills, and sometimes even have a little extra to go shopping or do something fun.
I might not have the prettiest face, but I have a husband who thinks that I am beautiful and who loves me for me.
I may not have the clearest skin, but I have the ability to purchase make up to help give me a better looking complexion.
I may not have the biggest house, but I have a place to call home and lay my head at night. A safe haven.
I have stretch marks, but I have a beautiful little girl b/c of them.
My nose may be on the larger side, but I have a petite figure that I am very thankful for.
I may not have all of my clothes name brand, but I have money to buy cute clothes and cheap jewelry :)
I'm not the most popular person in the world, but I have the most amazing family and amazing friends who i wouldn't trade for the world!!
I may live in China, but I get to go back home soon to America!
My list really could go on and on. I guess my point is, that if you find yourself down over the cons in life, don't forget about all of the pros that you have. Life is such a blessing and it gets rough for sure! but I know that b/c of some of the hard times I myself have been through, that I am now a better and stronger person b/c of them and I am actually grateful now for those experiences. I love my past. I love my present. I’m not ashamed of what I’ve had, and I’m not sad because I have it no longer. I just feel so very blessed in every way. My life is great and I thank God everyday for what he has blessed me with. I don't deserve it, but I will take it and try to contiue earning it :) The little things count and add up. Never overlook them and try to live life to it's fullest!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

A Little Post Dedicated To Miss Britney Spears

If any of you know me, you know that (1) I have been in love with Johnny Depp since the first time I saw Edward Scissorhands when I was 8 years old. And (2) I have loved Miss Britney Spears since the day I heard "Hit Me Baby One More Time" when I was 14 years old. I rememer My mom buying me her album and surprising me with it at good ol' Taco Bell. Ha ha! Why Taco Bell? Because my mom was on some low calorie diet and Taco Bell had the 7 layer burrito that she turned into a 4 layer burrito. We ate there seriously everyday for a whole summer. My mom lost a ton of weight though.... ANYWAY! back on track. I was so dang excited to put Britney's album into my CD player and try and dance like she did! I would tuck my shirt up and under so that my midriff was showing and even asked my mom to try and help me find the same lipstick and lip liner that Britney was wearing in her "Hit Me Baby One More Time" music video. I was a girl OBSESSED! I had Britney fever! and if she would have ever come over to my house and knocked on my door, I would have been her slave and wore my panties over my pants in public! No question about it. Everyone loved Miss Spears! She was hot! She was sexy! Her music made you wanna dance! and man could she dance! She was on top of the world and everyone was cheering on her fame and success. We all wanted more Britney.


In 2007 though, things started to get rough for Britney, and what did her fans do? They turned their backs to their favorite pop princess that was in distress and started bashing and judging her! Well, how RUDE! I don't need to go into every little detail about how she shaved her head and started whacking a paparazzi's car with an umbrella. Or how she decided to stop wearing her tighty whities and get out of the car proving to the world that she was ,indeed, all girl down there. And I know I don't need to remind you all of her lackluster performance at the MTV VMAS because we all know about every little detail that went on during this troubelsome time for her thanks to the tabloid and paparazzi that made sure that they involved themselves in every aspect of this stressful time.
While people, in general,were saying hurtful and negative things about Britney, the poor thing was suffering and was obviously having some kind of inner self struggle where she needed all of the love and support from her family, friends, and fans and not from that "non Doctor", Dr. Phil. How was all of this bad publicity doing her any good? How can a person start healing when no one has any faith in you and is waiting for you to make another wrong turn?
The thing is, is that all of us have had some kind of break down in some way or another, and if you haven't yet, you will. The difference between us and Miss Spears is that we aren't famous. Our hurt isn't publicized for everyone and their dog to read about and to watch.
Britney has been a pop idol since the young age of 17, and even before that, she was part of the Mickey Mouse Club. Always touring, always performing and recording. She has always been in the spotlight of the public eye. She had an A-hole cheater for a husband and 2 little boys. Most of us wouldn't be strong enough to have that pressure on our shoulders. Being not only a mother but a pop idol, having our every move followed, photographed and judged. It really was only a matter of time before she had some sort of a breakdown.
Britney actually released an album "Blackout" in 2007 when she was still working through her "issues" which a lot of people (including myself) were surprised about but, she was able to sing about some of the troubles she was going through like her song "Piece Of Me" that obviously explained some reasons why she was having some of the issues she was having.

"Wanna Piece Of Me"
"I'm miss american dream
Since I was seventeen
Don't matter if I step on the scene
Or sneak away to the Philippines
They still gon' put pictures
Of my derriere in the magazines
You wanna piece of me?
I'm miss bad media karma
Another day another drama
Guess I can't see no harm in workin
And being a mama
And with a kid on my arm
I'm still an exceptional earner
You wanna piece of me?
I'm Misses lifestyles of the rich and famous.
I'm Misses oh my God that Britney's shameless
I'm Misses extra, extra this just in
I'm Misses she's too big now she's too thin
I'm Misses you wanna piece of me
Tryin'a pissin' me off
Well get in line with the paparazzi
Who's flippin me off
Hopin I'll resort to some havoc
End up settlin' in court
Now are you sure you wanna piece of me?
I'm Misses most likely to get on the TV
For strippin' on the streets
When gettin' the groceries
For real, are you kidding me?
No wonder there's panic in the industry
I mean please
Do you wanna piece of me?"

Then, in December 2008, she released another hit album "Circus" and went on tour. I was lucky enough to get to go see her in concert that April. It was seriously AMAZING! Everything that girl does is nothing short of amazing!
Some were saying that she wouldn't make a come back. Now those people are choking on their words. Not to brag or anything, but I knew she would be back! Sexier and hotter than ever! Now with her new single out "Hold It Against Me" at the top of the charts, Britney has us all back on our toes again waiting to see what she will do next and we can bet it will be something memorable just like the time her and Madonna frenched on live, national televison. And Britney, to answer your question; Yes. Yes I will hold it against you. It's Britney bitches! and she isn't going anywhere!

Sunday, January 16, 2011

It's A Hard Knock Life, When You're A Girl

Is it just me, or do us girls have it rough? Rougher than the guys at least. What do guys do when they wake up in the morning? They roll out of bed, jump in the shower, maybe shave if they feel like it, run their fingers through their hair (unless they are still trying to pull off the Justin Bieber look) and throw on some clothes. 10 to 15 minutes and they're done! But us girls try to avoid our reflections as long as possible. It's a rats nest on top of our heads, the no make up thing really isn't working out for us, there are probably some new zits, and our eyes are puffy and have dark circles under them. So, our work begins. We shower with perfumed body washes, lather our hair with expensive shampoos and conditioners b/c the bottle says it will help mend our split ends and make our hair lustrous. If we aren't in a hurry (or too lazy), we shave our legs. Then we have all sorts of body lotions to choose from to make our skin feel soft and smell good. Some even help give us a little tan, and some to get rid of the wrinkles on our faces. We have more hair products than we know what to do with and end up making some kind of voodoo mixture with them that we put in our hair before and after we spend 10, 20, even 30 minutes styling it. Then comes the whole make up process. Our faces are like a canvas and we have to be the artists applying foundation, cover ups and powders to make our complexions look smooth and flawless. Eyeshadows, eyeliner, and mascara to make our eyes look anything from seductive to natural. Lip liner, lipsticks, and lipgloss for our pouts to look more plump and kissable. Blushes, bronzers, and highlighters to make it all blend and look natural.
Next we head over to our closets. Hmmmm....What to wear that won't make us look and feel like a cow but still let us be comfortable? Usually we sacrafice the "being comfortable" thing to look stylish and slimmer. We suffer through out the whole day trying to suck in our guts and still breathe normally.
Once the outfit is on, we have to find the right shoes. Thank the Lord that Uggs are in style and comfy! But a lot of times, we have to still wear uncomfortable heels and pumps b/c they look so much better with the outfit we picked out.
Not done getting ready yet! To top everything off, we need to accessarize ourselfs. That could include matching earrings, bracelets, necklaces, rings,belts, scarfs, purses, and even a matching mani and pedi.
After we have spent, who knows how long getting ready, we are hungry! But do you think we can be like guys who seem to be able to get away with stuffing their faces with whatever they want and if they gain a few pounds, no one says anything or judges them? No. We can't. If a girl does that, it's a totally different story. Us girls have to think about the consequences that that yummy slice of pizza will have later. All the sudden we become mathematicians caculating what it would do to our caloric intake for the day. IF we choose to eat that slice of pizza, we either pretty much have to starve ourselves for the rest of the day or spend an extra 45 minutes on the tredmil. If we ever dare have dessert....well, that guilt stays with us the for the rest of the week. We have to go home and punish ourselves with a Jillian Michaels work out DVD and that lady is hardcore!
On top of all of our stresses and pressure to be thin and beautiful, we get to be the ones that grow the babies. Don't get me wrong, kids are great and I would go through my pregnancy all over again for my little lovebug but the war wounds they leave on our bodies are less than favorable. Stretch marks, love handles, muffin tops, and wider hips are not helpful when we are trying to keep our figures fit and sexy. The only OK thing that comes from being pregnant (besides the bundle of joy that we get at the end of the 9 months)is not having to surf the crimson tide every month. Yet another pain in the ass that guys don't have to deal with.
Being a girl is rough. There are beautiful airbrushed models and celebrites posted everywhere and guys comparing us to the impossible. We have a lot of competition! and No matter how many crunches or hours of cardio we do, it just will never be enough b/c this is real life. Our bodies can't be altered the way they can be on a computer. Even if you get plastic surgery, there will still be the scars.
Have I depressed you enough yet with this post? Well, the reason for me writing this post is not to depress you but to sypmathize with you and let you girls know that you aren't alone in the whole "feeling ugly" department. It just comes with our gender. But instead of giving up, I have decided that spending time on myself and my body makes me feel a whole lot prettier and more attractive than giving up and being depressed about what can not be helped. It is so hard not to get caught up in the fads and punishing ourselves for not looking a certain way but do you think celebrities wake up and look amazing? NO! They take at least 3 hours everyday to get glamorous and they have professionals getting them that way. We need to stop comparing ourselves to the things that are not realistic and be happy with who we are and if you want to loose a few pounds,change your look up, or even get plasric surgery, go for it! But make sure you do it for yourself and b/c YOU want to. Never do it for anyone else. We all have witnessed how that tragedy turned out with Heidi Montag! This is a reminder not only for all of you but for myself as well. I too am guilty of beating myself up over my weight and my looks. It does nothing but make me feel even worse and more unattractive.
Because we have so much that we deal with on a day to day basis, I always wonder why, on top of all our insecurities, are we so mean to each other? Why do us girls give each other dirty looks, and call each other names? Does it really make us feel better? It shouldn't. If we see a pretty girl, why do we try and make her feel ugly or bad about herself? We all know how bad that feels. So, then why do we do it? We should all try to be a little sweeter and stop bringing each other down. I know that when I get a compliment from a girl, it makes me feel 100 times better than if I get a compliment from a guy.
Is being a girl rough? Yes. It can get downright exhausting! But, I know that a lot of it is b/c of the beatings we give to ourselves. We really are our own worst enemies. What we should be doing is what we love. Eat what we love (in moderation of course). Be happy, be healthy, and love ourselves. Is that hard to do? Yes. I think especially the last part. Loving ourselves will always be a struggle, but once you find happiness in your life, it should get easier and easier. From the wise mouth of Miss Ke$ha' "We are who we are" So, let's all try loving being a girl and loving ourselves even though sometimes we envy how easy it seems to be a guy. I'm sure they have some rough times too :) Us girls are the more attractive gender. That is definitely something to be proud of:)

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Our Little Vacay Within Our Vacay

We Recently just got back from a 2 week vacation visiting back home. It was so nice to see family and friends! I never thought that I would take a vacation back home! But we did and we loved it! We stayed at my parents house and my mom should run her own Inne b/c she took care of everything! Lover her! My hubby and I also went to Vegas while we were home. So much fun!
Living in China has made me appriciate everything 100x more like American food! Everything tasted sooo dang good! Our first night back, we booked it over to Wing Nutz with my mom, dad, and one of my brothers. It was AMAZING! The rest of the trip, we prioritized where we would eat and what places we would skip until next time. Ha ha! Never thought I would be doing that either! All of that good food has made me pay the price though. I have been working my butt off to remove the pounds that I put on while on vacation. Most of the calories came from when we went to Vegas. Too much good food there! It seriously was heaven! One of The best junk food places we went to was "Pinks". It was at Planet Hollywood where we were staying and sooo yummy!


K- don't even judge me! It was the best crappy food I have ever put into my mouth!
Then there are the buffets at Vegas! Sooo many to chose from, but my dad (who is like an un paid food critic) would always take us to The Rio's "Carnival" buffet when we were younger and would do day trips to Vegas quite frequently. It was a favorite and never dissapointed! So, that is where my husband and I went this trip. We stayed there for 2 1/2 hours!! We just kept piling our plates with crab legs and banana's foster!
And of course there are the MEGA size drinks at Vegas that always let you keep the way too big cup that would never fit in any of your luggage, but they are oh so good and as big as your head!
The next trip you take out to Vegas, make sure you go to Madame Tussauds Wax Museum if you haven't already. This was out seconf time going and they had changed and added things. It was a blast! Most of the figures are so real looking that it is kinda freaky.
My very, very favorite Wax figure is of Mr. Johnny Depp...*sigh* even in Wax he makes my heart skip a beat :)
Then there is Hugh. I had to poke him to make sure he wasn't real b/c he looks amazingly good! And I just love that he is on the "love" bed!

My husband's favorite wax figures were Cameron Diaz and Eva Longoria. I don't blame him. They are both hotties!
This picture I just had to put up cause it cracks me up everytime I look at it!

And then there is Lady Gaga who I love!
But my very favorite musician is Miss Britney Spears! I'm not going to lie, she makes my heart skip a beat also :)
And then there is my favorite Iconic celebrity. Marilyn Monroe. She is just beautiful in every way.
Before our trip out to Vegas, I had read that MGM had a CSI attraction where they have different crime scenes set up and you choose the one you want to solve. It was so fun and just such a different experience. I would recommended that to anyone who wanted to try something a little different.
We did a lot of things that we had never done/seen like the M&M factory. It was crazy that they made such a huge place based off of M&M murchandise. There was nothing I wanted to purchase there except Pink M&M's!
They also had a free 3D 10 minute M&M movie that we watched. It was actually kind of funny, but was even more funny was watching all of the little kids in the theatre try and touch the 3D figures that were in front of them!
We also went to the Coca cola store...hmmm...it was fun to just look around, but yeah, nothing I wanted to actually buy there.
Of course we went and saw the water show at the Bellagio and it was amazing as always!
So, this might be silly to some of you, but one of my favorite things that we did this Vegas trip was go to Fremont Street. I had never been before and it was really so much fun! It was like a mini Las Vegas only you are covered by a huge canopy that plays music and has a show going on up above you!
It was a blast! There were also a ton of people dressed up walking around that were working for tips so it was fun to go get your picture taken with them.
During our trip, we went into this store called "Sugar Factory" that has THE COOLEST suckers! The sticks are all blinged out and you can change the sucker flavor out whenever b/c they just screw down into the stick!
Anyway,I really wanted one but my husband was having a hard time justifying spending 25 bucks on a sucker plus another 12 bucks for 3 refills. I knew it was silly too but I really wanted one! So, at the end of our trip, my husband was the sweetest and let me go and pick a sucker and a pack of refills. What a sweetheart! I was so happy and they taste so good! It was worth it!
Our Vegas trip was so much fun and much deserved. Since we have moved to China, we had only 6 hours of alone time in a year! Two 3 hour dates that were rushed so it was so nice to to re connect and be in love again. Don't get me wrong, I am always in love with my husband, but to just be able to spend time alone togther with no worries or obligations was just what the doctor ordered! And Vegsa has such a variety of things to do that it was not only romantic but fun in every way! Thanks Vegas! You never dissapoint!

Friday, January 14, 2011

Some, Of Many, China Times

A year ago, we moved to Hangzhou, China for my husband's job. He runs a plant out here that makes carbon fiber wheels. He is super busy and I have been a stay at home mom here with Ava. I am not used to the whole not working thing and sometimes I miss it. It has been nice spending the extra time with my little one but I think we get on each others nerves some days :)
A lot of people have asked me how it is living out here and if I could only use one word that I think best describes how it is is "Crazy". Everything is so different in every way. The language, the mannerisms, food, cooking, cleaning, money,the water, driving, bathrooms, apartments, internet, television, jobs...the list goes on. Just the way of life in general is totally different than what most of us are used to in America. Things that we use everyday like a dishwasher, a dryer, an oven, and tap water they don't use over here. I have had to plan ahead on what clothes I will be needing and how long they will take to air dry. I have learned a lot of new recipes since the wok is the main cooking device. And washing every dish by hand isn't so bad but it was just something different. Then there is the water. We have seperate water for drinking b/c you can not drink and even cook some things with the tap water.
The biggest difficulty out here has been going out in public. Ava and I (Ava more so) just get swamped with people wanting pictures and wanting to touch her cheeks, hair, and hands. We have people follow us and try and sneak pictures. I have had some lady just come over to Ava, pick her up, and start walking off with her to show her friends! It has gotten to the point where Ava and I have become homebodies while Joey is at work b/c it just gets too overwhelming if Joey isn't with us. Plus, they seem to leave us alone a little more when he is with us. I never would have thought we would attract so much attention. I honestly feel like a freak show when we go out.


There are some fun things here though like we have loved the night markets. It is a street that is filled up and down with vendors selling all sorts of things from jewelry to shoes to pirated DVDs, purses, decorations, electronics, watches, just a ton of stuff! Everything is pretty cheap if you are willing to barter.
We have also loved a lot of the food here. You haven't had true Chinese food until you have come here! Panda Express and P.F. Changs does not even come close to how Chinese food really is and how it tastes.

We have learned how to make homemade dumplings and I have learned a lot of new recipes. There are a ton of food carts that are out and have certain foods on them where you can just stop and pick out what you want and they will cook it for you and it is so cheap! my husband and I can eat for 3 bucks! They also have these eggs called tea eggs that are really good! They are like hard boiled eggs but they simmer them in a crock pot with tea leaves. I will miss those for sure.


The fruit here is amazing and is very cheap as well! They have fresh fruit stads/markets everywhere. During the winter and spring, the sugar cane is in season and you can get a whole stick of sugar cane for 75 cents! It is so good! And they have fruits here that I have never seen in my life!

The whole bathroom situation has been kind of alarming! No one warned me that the toilets were in the ground! It's like they took a toilet bowl and just put it into the ground. We call them the squatty potties. Most of the time there is no toilet paper in any bathrooms so I always have tissues in my purse. Going potty for the little kids though is a whole nother story! When they are getting potty trained, they wear split pants, that way, when they need to go, they just squat wherever they are and go! Grown men also just whip it out and pee wherever and whenever. So gross!
One thing that I have never thought about missing is just lawns and back yards. Everything here is huge buildings and no yards. The only grass you see is at parks. I don't love that we live on the 18th floor especially when I go out on our balcony to hang up our laundry! It is a long way down!

So, I know that driving can be super frustrating and can bring out the worst in people but you might never complain again if you drive once here in China! It is absolute chaos! People just doing whatever they want when they want! Stopping in the middle of the road to text, flipping "U" turns wherever, driving backwards if they missed a turn, running red lights, making their own lanes, and driving in the oncoming traffic lane. All of that and then stir in all of the hundreds of scooters and pedestrians doing their own thing is just madness!! Luckily we have only been in one accident since we have been out here.


We live by a tourist area called West Lake and it is really beautiful. We love going there and walking around. They also have a really cool zoo here with a Panda bear!


They also have seals that put on a show and sea lions that you can feed. Ava loves going there.

There are some pretty amazing places here that are beautiful! There are a lot of Pagodas that are just amazing! They really go all out on their architecture here.

And further out of the city, there are some beautiful natural springs and it's just green everywhere and peaceful. We loved going there and getting away from the busy and noisy city we live in.



Another thing that is so weird is that there are ALWAYS fireworks going off! It doesn't matter what day it is (or time), you will see or hear fireworks going off somewhere everyday. During the Chinese New Year is is pure craziness!! They were hitting our windows of our balcony! and going off all hours of the night. It is impossible to get a full nights sleep during that week. While is can be more than annoying, it can also be very beautiful at night going out on our balcony and seeing the entire night sky just filled with fireworks everywhere you look.
Some things that I had hoped I would not encounter are the bugs! Since it is so humid here during the summer months, the mosquitos here are insane! I would go out on the balcony to hang our clothes out to dry and come back in with 3 to 5 bites! We all had a very itchy summer!
A bug that I have never encountered until moving out here were Cicadas. They are all over in the trees and you wouldn't even know they were there if it wasn't for how LOUD they are! I have never heard anything like it. while walking outside, there are times when you would have to shout over their noise just to talk to the person next to you. And of course when they die, they fall out of the trees and onto the ground or, sometimes right on top of your head. It was a little creepy.
And of course there are the cockroaches, which, until moving out here, I never had come across one. This big guy was just chillin in my little girl's room.
We called the exterminator first thing in the morning!
One morning, I went over to out bedroom curtains and opened them up to let the sun in and there was this monster bug on the other side!
This bug had no wings just sticky feet. That means that it climed 18 stories to get into our bedroom. I was too scared to squish it or even get too close, so, I closed the balcony doors and waited for my husband to get home to get rid of it.
Because there are so many bugs, there are a lot of bats! If you go out at dusk, they are everywhere just flying over your head! I have screamed outloud a few times b/c I swear a few were coming right for my jugular ha ha! It really is a litte scary for me though to just have bats flying all around.
This post is getting pretty long! There is so much more I could talk about and I'm sure I will in future posts but that was some stuff that have been really quite different from the US. This whole experience has been so crazy, fun, hard, and memorable. I have been humbled in so many ways and feel so thankful for what I have. The homesickness has definitely kicked in these past couple months and we are ready to be home in AMERICA!! But I am glad to have had this whole experience and I will never forget it.

Together We Are Perfect

Some of you like lil love stories and some of you don't, so if you don't, just skip this post because it's about how my husband and I met and fell in love in a very condensed story.
Most people know that I have been married once before. I got pregnant and we were friends so we thought we would try and make things work. Well, they didn't. and 2 years later, we got divorced.
Normally people would just be upset and embarrassed that the marriage happened which, to an extent I was, but more than anything, I am grateful it did happened. Sounds weird, right? Well,to explain my point, I know that if I hadn't have gotten married the first time, I would have never met the love of my life.
While I was married, and after Ava was born, we were struggling with money. Both my ex and I were working full time and it still wasn't enough. I had to find another job that I could do only on weekends and at night so, that my ex would be home with Ava. So, the nightclub life was calling. I took a job at a nightclub called Atchaflaya's as a cocktail waitress Friday and Saturday nights 9pm to 3am. I had to wear Chaps and booty shorts for my "uniform", it was a totally differnt atmosphere from the professional dental office that I was used to working in, and it was kinda scary/crazy for me at first. I was barely 21, had never been to a club and knew nothing about all the different drinks and alcohol. There were hundreds of them! All with weird names like "purple hooters", "Lemon Drops, "sex on the beach". I had no clue what anyone was talking about!
Cocktailing was like putting on 6 hour show. You smiled, you laughed and pretended you were having the time of your life working. You were everyone's best friend and had to put up with all the drunk guys that had no class and would hit on you all night. It was tiring and hard work. By the end of the night each shift, I had had it. My feet hurt, my arms hurt from carrying a tray full of drinks all night,I was all sticky from people spilling drinks on me, and I smelled like alcohol and cigarettes. It was not fun. It was not a free party for me and it drained every ounce of me.
At the end of the night, and after all the customers left, all the employees hung around and waited to get paid. This is when I was first approached by Joey. He was the DJ at the club and stayed up in his booth all night mixing so, I never would see him til the end of the night. He could tell that I was in a grouchy mood so he tried to make me laugh by saying "I see London I see France." (he was referring to my booty shorts). I was not amused. The last thing I needed was one more guy hitting on me. So I snapped back at him "You've seen them all night!" I didn't mean to be a brat but I didn't know this guy and I just wanted to get paid and go home. He just looked at me, turned around and went back up the stairs to the DJ booth and I heard him mumble "Well, she hates me."
Every weekend, even though I was not very nice, Joey would come say "Hi" to me or make a joke, even try to make small talk. I was still married and didn't want to flirt or anything but little by little I would at least start engaging in his small talk.
A few months had gone by and just everything felt out of control. Things were getting bad with my husband and my health. One morning, the whole left side of my body had gone numb. I was scared. I went to the Dr. and he poked my leg and arm with a toothpick. I could only feel the pressure of the toothpick not the sharpness. That's when the Dr. asked me about my life. What I did evryday. I told him I was a wife and a mother, and worked 2 jobs. I didn't want to go into details about my personal struggles that I was dealing with but I think he knew there was more than I was telling him. He told me that I needed to cut back somewhere in my life b/c I was running myself too thin and it was endagering my health.
When a medical Dr. tells you that you need to "cut back" on something, it makes you sit down and think what can I actually cut out of my life? I can't cut out being a mother. I can't cut back on working. And that's when it hit me. The thing that I could cut out and that caused me the most stress in my life was my marrige. I wasn't happy and it was only getting worse. There was nothing about my marrige that was fun, happy, or that made me want to stick around to try and salvage it. The damage had been done and I wanted to move on but didn't know how.
I went to work that night at the club feeling hopeless and not knowing exactly what to do. I didn't want to be divorced. It was embarrassing. All the people who would be saying "I told you so" just did not sound like something I wanted to deal with. I didn't want Ava to have to go between parents the rest of her life, and I didn't want all of the drama that comes with divorce. I was torn.
At the end of my shift, I was sitting with everyone waiting to get paid and Joey said something that made me laugh out loud. It honestly startled me when it happened. I hadn't had a real laugh in so long that it felt almost foreign but I felt happy for that moment and I needed happiness in my life again. At that moment I knew what needed to be done. A few days later I told my husband I wanted a divorce.
The next few weeks were a lot better. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and it felt good. I was actually looking forward to the weekends at work b/c I would see Joey. He was just my friend but he made me laugh and we got each other. He would even take me out on motorcycle rides after work was done and we would make Beto's and Del Taco runs for everyone at the club while they were waiting to get paid. That's how things stayed for awhile. Just as friends.
I was staying away from home a lot until the divorce was final and the ex moved out. So, one day I decided to go up to the Fashion Place mall that was 45 minutes away from where I was living. I had remembered that Joey lived somewhat close to that area, so, I called him and invited him to meet me there and he did! I had Ava with me and at the time she was only a 1 1/2. When Joey saw her, he was so sweet to with her. He just played with her and held her and I was kinda shocked. Usually guys aren't so willing to just take over with a kid.
After the mall we went to get a bite to eat. I had to use the restroom so Joey stayed at the table with Ava. When I got back, I was surprised to see them playing dolls together. He was even doing voices for all the different characters! I knew right then that he was a keeper and my "just friends" feelings for him had shifted.
The divorce was soon finalized and I didn't even date one other person. Joey and I had just hit it off so well. We lived together for a year. Then oJoey took me on a surprise trip to California. We got in our rental car and drove up the coast for a couple of hours. I had no clue where we were going. I looked out the window and saw a road sign that said "Madonna Road" and I said "Madonna Road? Like after the singer or what?" Then it hit me! We were going to the Madonna Inn!! If you've never heard of this place or seen it, get online and look it up! It is AMAZING! I first saw it on "The Girl's Next Door". They all stayed there and I made Joey promise me that he would take me there someday. Little did I know that he had already made the reservations to stay there!
We pulled up and it was beautiful! We got all checked into out room which was AMAZING! He made sure to get the room that Kendra Wilkinson stayed in from "The Girl's Next Door". We went to the bar that was there and I got a drink that I had seen the girls get on TV. It was all pink with whipped cream on top! Sooo good! Then we went to their winery and tried some different wines. We did a little shopping at some of the stores, and then we went to dinner. It was so romantic and I couldn't believe he had planned This dream vacation!
After dinner, we went for a walk. We wanted to see the pool. it was so pretty! There was a little walkway that went up to a gazibo so you could look out over the pool. We walked over there and looked out at the view. When I turned to leave so we could go get our swimming suits, I felt a nudge and next thing I knew, Joey was down on his knee asking me to marry him! Of course I said "YES!" and later that month, we went on a cruise with some family and friends and were married on beautiful Catalina Island. It was PERFECT! and everything else since then has been as close to perfect as it could get. I have never been happier.
So, going back to the beginning of this little love story where I said that I was "grateful that I had been previously married b/c I would have never met my husband." I was put into a situation during my first marraige that led me to have to take another job, and if it wasn't for that, who knows if I would have ever met the love of my life. So, yes, going through a divorce sucks. And no, I would not recommend it but it happens. I have just been able to look through the bad and realize all the good that has come out of it.I have my prince charming and together we are perfect :)

Thursday, January 13, 2011

My First Attempt At Blogging :)

So, everyone has a blog these days and I have been all against it and putting it off because I have no clue what to write about or how to even do this blogging stuff! Plus, I don't want to bore anyone with my boring life :) But, finally I have given in and decided that I might as well just get one started. I can write about my lil family and maybe vent about...who knows what! Plus, I might just put some hair do how to's on here. I guess this blogging thing might turn out to be fun. Just don't judge me though. I have no clue how to do this. I can tell this will be quite the learning process!
How about I start with a little introduction; Hi! my name is Cassandra Nicole Lange and this is my blog! Welcome! Ha ha! (Cheesey enough for ya?)


Anyway, I have the Cutest lil 5 year old Named Ava who is a handful! But she keeps life interesting and frustrating all at the same time. She has taught me a whole lot of patience and is my lil pride and joy!


Joey/Jon (Jon is his legal name...it's a long story) is my husband. He is the love of my life! We got married March 30th, 2009 on a beach at Catalina Island. It was beautiful! Just like a fairytale!
Next on the list is our family dog GINGER!! She is a Golden Retriever and is our lil fighter! She survived parvo when she was 5 months old. She is a ball of energy and makes us laugh all the time! She has just brought a totally different element of happiness into out lifes. We just love her!
That's our little family. What would I do without them?! Everyday I feel so blessed to have them in my life and I wouldn't change a thing :)